Posts Tagged ‘woman’

If you ever ask a friend for advice on picking up a woman you will invariably hear two suggestions – be yourself and be confident. These two clichés are bandied about more than any other in the dating game and I’m hear today to tell you that both are utter hogwash.

But how can that be when you hear that advice all the time? Well there’s certainly an element of truth…once you are already a master of the dating game. However when you’re making your first forays into the art of seduction then there is only one thing you should focus on – interest.

When I say “interest” I mean you have to be interesting and look as if you are genuinely interested in the woman you are talking, even if your only goal is to get them in your bed at the end of the night and nothing more. This is why being yourself may not be a good idea at first. Most people are actually frightening dull and they don’t even realize it.

There is an easy way to become more interesting though and that is to lie. By lie I mean create a few stories about yourself and situations that you have been in that seem incredible, but could have realistically happened. Think less “I’m ran for President in 2008” which can be easily checked and is over the top anyway and more “Last year I climbed Kilimanjaro for charity” which can’t really be checked but certainly sounds realistic as treks up Kilimanjaro are done quite regularly while still seeming like an interesting and impressive feat. Plus the charity aspect makes you seem like a warm, kind person who likes to look out for others which is an attractive quality to women.

You should also begin learning a few interesting facts which you can slip into conversation. Don’t try to shoe-horn them in but if The Apprentice crops up in conversation for example, you could mention that Donald Trump has filed for bankruptcy three times. Interesting facts are easily found on the internet, there’s full websites dedicated to them and because they’re usually quite short they’re easy enough to learn and remember. The more you know, the more naturally you can drop them into conversation making you appear interesting and intelligent.

Looking interested, even when you’re not, may take practice. Some people are naturally better at it than others. The key is to maintain eye contact and treat them like they’re the only person in the room. Nod occasionally, and ask follow up questions and you’ve got them hooked. You’ll have made them feel special and that is vital.

It is also incredibly helpful to know the basics of conversational hypnosis. It is the next step in being successful at seduction. With this technique you can make almost anyone hang on your every word and vie for your attention. It is undoubtedly more advanced than what I have talked about in this article but if you want to take your pick up ability to the next level then it is well worth the time and money it takes to learn.

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When you intend to seduce either a woman or man it pays to have a plan and one of the very best seduction techniques you could ever learn are embedded commands. The idea behind embedded commands came from Milton Erickson and was later fine tuned by John Grinder and Richard Bandler, the co-founders of NLP. There are many uses for embedded commands but in this article I will concentrate on how they can be used to seduce anyone you desire.

Embedded commands work by planting a thought or idea into the mind of the person you are trying to seduce. So, for example, if I was talking to an attractive woman that I had met via strange circumstances I might  say to her “Isn’t it funny we should be together like this?”. It’s a perfectly natural piece of conversation but within the question you will notice the command “we should be together”. This places the idea in the woman’s mind that it would be a good idea for us to get together.

At this juncture I would like to mention the importance of the tone of your voice while delivering embedded commands. They are called commands for a reason, they should be spoken in the manner of a command. That doesn’t mean you need to seem stern and authorities though (although it is a good idea to appear in control of the situation if you are a man looking to seduce a woman). Commands should be delivered with a downward inflection. This is in contrast to questions which end with an upward inflection. If you’re not sure what I mean by this say “go to the shop” out-loud to yourself and listen to the commanding tone of your voice.

There are a couple of different formulas that have been designed to help with the creation of embedded commands but I find these to be restrictive and often too obvious or difficult to naturally slip into a conversation. I have come up with a number of embedded commands for the purposes of seduction and I invite you to borrow them as well as create your own.

“I could sense/feel the excitement…”
“It’s just like me to…”
“Sometimes you have to take a chance…”
“You can find the perfect man/woman (touch or stroke your chin)  for you if you look hard enough.”
“Isn’t it great when you can feel a connection growing?”
“Did it feel good?”
“Could you imagine us in the future?” This one works great after a discussion about life goals.

The embedded commands above can be used on a man or woman.

Before you start trying to seduce people with embedded commands it is important to spend time practicing so that your technique is flawless. If you go out and attempt to use embedded commands without practice your speech will sound awkward and disjointed and you will enjoy no success.

The best way to practice and master the use of embedded commands for seduction is first by creating a number of commands that flow well with your regular speech patterns. Commands don’t have to be complicated so this part should be easy. Once you have an arsenal of embedded commands, practice speaking them into a dictaphone (many cell phones now have this capability).

Keep practicing and playing your recordings back to yourself until your embedded commands flow smoothly to the point where you believe no-one would ever suspect that you are using this powerful seduction technique.

When you are ready you can begin using these commands while talking to a potential partner. Pay close attention to how they react whilst you are speaking to them. Some commands will work better than others, try to gauge which ones have the desired effect and which ones don’t. This way you can edit your embedded commands for the future, keep the good ones and ditch bad ones.

If you stumble the first few times in a real social situation don’t worry. It is perfectly natural as you are now in a new and stimulating environment. You will soon find yourself settling into a rhythm where embedded commands become second nature to you.

Do not forget that the dance of seduction is a two way conversation not a monologue so make sure to listen just as much as you talk.

Please be responsible with this technique.

Doug Slater.