Posts Tagged ‘rapport’

As a system of logical analysis on thoughts and languages, NLP is a scientific tool that makes use of our cognitive interpretations and turns these thoughts into positive behavior.

NLP Training courses have outlined different approaches to obtaining specific goals, using the method of logic and linguistics. Therefore, providing an avenue for personal development, career improvements, and management and marketing strategies development, these courses prove to be popular to people hoping to control life paths and conquering road blocks.

These techniques taught in the NLP training courses are founded upon the principles of rapport. Rapport is easily defined as the ability to maintain harmonious relationships through effective communication, mutual acceptance and conscious recognition of both parties.

NLP gears to help us relate with others and that fosters the feelings of trust, respect and quiet camaraderie. Creating a good relationship between two parties allows effective communication. Likewise, effective communication allows an established and good relationship.

During business transactions, businessmen would discuss in detail the different terms and conditions of business dealings. They would allot hours on planning and execution but would base their final decision on the quality of client-management relationship on top of the over-all management skills of the other party, as we are most likely to close deals with people we are comfortable with.

NLP recognizes the importance of rapport and has outlined the different techniques in improving established relationships and forging better ones. Through NLP, we are taught to focus on the positive points of the relationship, focusing on the similarities rather than differences and zoning on the areas of improvement.

Creating accord or rapport between parties requires the technique of Pacing or Matching. This non-verbal approach to establish rapport makes use of body posture, body and hand movements, voice volume and even eye contact.

By subtly matching body languages and voice patterns, the other party at the end of the communication line will develop an interest on the other person or party.

Pacing is the term to describe the kind of matching that NLP techniques teach. It is the matching of non-verbal behavior, establishing eye contact and creating an atmosphere of introduction and trust.

This is best described, and apparently most useful, in parent-child relationships. As children often require a level of communication that they must understand, parents should learn that speaking in a pace that their kids could catch up with can establish a secure relationship for both parties.

I used to travel a lot with my cousin and her young family and I witnessed how her then two year old daughter would throw fits and tantrums when she wants and demands something. My cousin would start screaming back to get her point across and all would end up in spanking and crying and a lousy day for everyone.

So when I had my own child, I resolved to never go down this road. I am a firm believer that spanking or shouting at a child will not make things any better and will forfeit the idea of getting my point across. And so, I started stretching my patience and made it a habit to always explain things to my daughter in a way she could understand by pacing my words and adjusting voice levels to calm.

One time, we were at a toy store and she saw this walking and talking doll that cost almost a fortune. Of course she wanted it. She and her cousin both wanted it. When her cousin started her old ways of throwing fits, my daughter looked at me and looked at her cousin in disbelief. She came up to me and asked quietly if we could buy the doll.

As I launched on my usual lines of why we couldn’t and shouldn’t, I also asked her reasons of wanting the doll so much. She asked me questions too and we both struck a compromise. And that was when I knew I could reason with my little one.

We both walked out of the store triumphant, equally smiling and with my purse intact.

The power of effective communication works better than any other parenting technique. So building a solid rapport with your child, or another party, will surely help in improving relationship quality.

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To truly master the seductive arts you need to learn how to use fractional rapport hooks. As you will probably already know rapport is the conversational bond you create with another person. If you have been studying NLP and conversational hypnosis you should already be able to build rapport pretty easily. What you are able to do with fractional rapport hooks is better hide the fact you are using “secret” and “covert” and also get a person really wanting your attention.

How is this done? Well the idea of fractional rapport is to offer your target your complete attention for a short period of time and hook them in with an incomplete story or piece of information. Then you take all of this away. This leaves the person you were talking to wanting more and craving your attention again.

Most people know a guy who’s a bit of a jerk with women, constantly playing hot and cold, yet they are consistently surrounded by them. At first it makes no sense to you but without knowing it (in most cases) they are using fractional rapport hooks. You too can experience great success with this method, and you don’t have to be a jerk about it…unless you want to be.

For example say you have struck up a conversation with a woman in a bar and you’re getting along well. You’ve asked her questions about her life and know you’re telling her a little story about yourself (either real or made up). Now if you see that she is enjoying yourself what you can do is act as if your mobile has gone off and you’ve received a text. Tell her that there’s a bit of an emergency at work or with a family member/friend and that you have to go right away. This will be a bit of a shock to her. Here the window is open. Now you can apologise and ask for her phone number so that you can get a chance to talk again. I have never known this not to work.

That is quite an extreme example though. Another method of using fractional rapport hooks is to tell a story but leave out key details. For instance you could talk about a great holiday you had but not mention the actual destination, make your target ask questions and they will become hooked into the story.

Using fractional rapport hooks is almost like play fighting with a dog over a piece of rope. You give them a little slack but then you pull it right back in. It’s easy to do and it’s one of the few techniques which just impossible to spot from the point of view of the other person. It doesn’t feel like a game, it feels real and that is the real secret to building great rapport.

Doug Slater.

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As you know by now rapport is a key skill that you will need to master to be a successful hypnotist. Without rapport your subject will not be open to your hypnotic suggestions and communications.

A brief review of rapport is the harmonious relationship that you share with people. In this relationship you understand and relate to people’s feelings, ideas as well as communicate them well with one another. Everyone does this everyday with the different relationships they share with family, friends and co-workers.

In order to build a strong and wide rapport you will need to practice and perfect certain skills. Rapport in normal circumstances can often come easily. Think of how easily you share your life with a spouse or your best friend. The rapport here is focused and good, it comes easily and casually.

However hypnosis is not a normal or casual relationship. A deep amount of comfort, trust and familiarity must be established before you can reach your goals with a hypnotic subject. Remember they are going to let you into their mind this is not a place you open to just a perfect stranger.

As you are learning hypnosis you will want to focus on advanced strategies for building rapport. Creating and building on ‘rapport hooks’ is a great skill that will get other people to build rapport with you. Rapport hooks are going to do the work of drawing your subject into you as you get acquainted.

Rapport hooks are developed in a way that will keep people coming back to you to build on the relationship. It causes people to work hard and value the relationships they are building. If a person feels that they are working hard to build something they will also continue to work to maintain the past success they have had.

When you put rapport hooks into action, they will keep the person coming back for more information. The hooks will get your subject to keep asking questions, and coming back to fill in the informational gaps in you are purposefully leaving in your stories.

One way to get a person to keep coming back for that information is to give them small pieces of information that may not be complete. Leave questions in their mind as you tell stories. Give a casual tone, but leave what, why and how open for your subject to dig with.

The key here is to avoid forcing information on to them. Get your subject interested but leave your topics open by adding suspense and unfinished information.

For example, if you are telling a story about a place you visited, use the name of the country but give no specifics about where you went. Tell them the scenery is beautiful but let them ask about the region or sites you saw. Let them probe for these answers. You can do this with almost any topic.

While you are talking remember to use a casual tone and present the information in a way that inclines them to ask for more. If your subject’s curiosity is peaked they will be inclined to want to know more to the point of asking you.

In this manner you are elegantly giving them a good story and drawing them in as well. The more curiosity and interest the person has the more questions they will ask. Asking you questions is subconsciously earning them the right to the information and they begin to feel it is more important.

When you use rapport hooks it will also help you with fractionate rapport. Fractionate rapport happens when you giving rapport then consciously taking it away.

Give your subject your full attention for a while, then, distract yourself. Getting casually distracted by looking around or engaging your attention elsewhere will cause the subject to re-engage you. If the person does re-engage you then you are on board with the beginnings of a foundation for an advanced rapport.

Again this is causing the person to work for your attention. You give it, and then take your attention away. They then have to work to get it back. This makes the relationship more valued yet again because it is not being forced upon them. They are asking for it and earning it.

When using these advanced rapport building skills you will successfully push your rapport further, faster than normal. The more push and pull you involve in your conversations the quicker and deeper your rapport will go.

These skills will take your relationship to higher levels of comfort and trust quickly so a good and wide enough rapport is set to continue. Once this is founded and put into place you will be able to begin to put your subject into trance and begin the real work of hypnosis.

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