Posts Tagged ‘Milton Erickson’

When you intend to seduce either a woman or man it pays to have a plan and one of the very best seduction techniques you could ever learn are embedded commands. The idea behind embedded commands came from Milton Erickson and was later fine tuned by John Grinder and Richard Bandler, the co-founders of NLP. There are many uses for embedded commands but in this article I will concentrate on how they can be used to seduce anyone you desire.

Embedded commands work by planting a thought or idea into the mind of the person you are trying to seduce. So, for example, if I was talking to an attractive woman that I had met via strange circumstances I might  say to her “Isn’t it funny we should be together like this?”. It’s a perfectly natural piece of conversation but within the question you will notice the command “we should be together”. This places the idea in the woman’s mind that it would be a good idea for us to get together.

At this juncture I would like to mention the importance of the tone of your voice while delivering embedded commands. They are called commands for a reason, they should be spoken in the manner of a command. That doesn’t mean you need to seem stern and authorities though (although it is a good idea to appear in control of the situation if you are a man looking to seduce a woman). Commands should be delivered with a downward inflection. This is in contrast to questions which end with an upward inflection. If you’re not sure what I mean by this say “go to the shop” out-loud to yourself and listen to the commanding tone of your voice.

There are a couple of different formulas that have been designed to help with the creation of embedded commands but I find these to be restrictive and often too obvious or difficult to naturally slip into a conversation. I have come up with a number of embedded commands for the purposes of seduction and I invite you to borrow them as well as create your own.

“I could sense/feel the excitement…”
“It’s just like me to…”
“Sometimes you have to take a chance…”
“You can find the perfect man/woman (touch or stroke your chin)  for you if you look hard enough.”
“Isn’t it great when you can feel a connection growing?”
“Did it feel good?”
“Could you imagine us in the future?” This one works great after a discussion about life goals.

The embedded commands above can be used on a man or woman.

Before you start trying to seduce people with embedded commands it is important to spend time practicing so that your technique is flawless. If you go out and attempt to use embedded commands without practice your speech will sound awkward and disjointed and you will enjoy no success.

The best way to practice and master the use of embedded commands for seduction is first by creating a number of commands that flow well with your regular speech patterns. Commands don’t have to be complicated so this part should be easy. Once you have an arsenal of embedded commands, practice speaking them into a dictaphone (many cell phones now have this capability).

Keep practicing and playing your recordings back to yourself until your embedded commands flow smoothly to the point where you believe no-one would ever suspect that you are using this powerful seduction technique.

When you are ready you can begin using these commands while talking to a potential partner. Pay close attention to how they react whilst you are speaking to them. Some commands will work better than others, try to gauge which ones have the desired effect and which ones don’t. This way you can edit your embedded commands for the future, keep the good ones and ditch bad ones.

If you stumble the first few times in a real social situation don’t worry. It is perfectly natural as you are now in a new and stimulating environment. You will soon find yourself settling into a rhythm where embedded commands become second nature to you.

Do not forget that the dance of seduction is a two way conversation not a monologue so make sure to listen just as much as you talk.

Please be responsible with this technique.

Doug Slater.

Milton Erickson was a psychiatrist and clinical hypnotherapist, who was the founding president of the American Society for Clinical Hypnosis. He is noted for his unorthodox methods of therapy, and his influence in the field of psychiatry, psychology, NLP and hypnotherapy. He deserves special mention here not only for his influence in many fields, but also for the way he fought against his own adversities.

At a young age, Erickson both dyslexic and color blind, started following in his fathers footsteps of becoming a farmer. However at the age of 17 he became very ill when he contracted polio.

“I had polio, and I was totally paralyzed, and the inflammation was so great that I had a sensory paralysis too. I could move my eyes and my hearing was undisturbed. I got very lonesome lying in bed, unable to move anything except my eyeballs. I was quarantined on the farm with seven sisters, one brother, two parents, and a practical nurse. And how could I entertain myself? I started watching people and my environment. I soon learned that my sisters could say “no” when they meant “yes.” And they could say “yes” and mean “no” at the same time. They could offer another sister an apple and hold it back. And I began studying nonverbal language and body language. I had a baby sister who had begun to learn to creep. I would have to learn to stand up and walk. And you can imagine the intensity with which I watched as my baby sister grew from creeping to learning how to stand up.”

Erickson was not beaten. He decided to fight back. One day he was sitting by the window, looking longingly outside. As he sat there imagining being outside he noticed that the chair began to rock slightly. Excited he attempted to make it happen again, willing himself to move, but he could not no matter how hard he tried. Eventually he gave up and sank back into his daydreams, again imagining playing outside. Once more the chair began to rock. He realised that it was his vivid imagination that was producing a response in his body. Inspired by this discovery, he taught himself to walk again He spent a lot of time observing his baby sister growing up and learning to walk. He began to recall “body memories” of the muscular activity of his own body. By concentrating on these memories and using visualisation, Erickson started to regain control of parts of his body. Eventually, although still unable to walk, he decided to train his body even more by embarking on a thousand mile canoe trip. After this grueling trip, he was able to walk with a cane.

Despite this, Erickson realised that he still did not have the strength to become a farmer, so at the age of 21 he began to train as a doctor instead. Whilst at medical school, Erickson was still very interested in the human mind. In fact he was so curious about it that he gained a psychology degree at the same time.

In the years that followed, Erickson used his education and background to become one of the most influential psychotherapists and clinical hypnotherapists ever. He had a very practical approach to his therapy sessions, often telling stories, using metaphors, and whole array of unorthodox therapeutic methods should the situation demand it. He once spent 4 sessions talking to a young boy who was interested in baseball, about such things as how you need to control the muscles in your hand to let go at just the right time in order for you to be able to throw the ball where you want it to go. Despite never specifically talking about his presenting problem, Erickson successfully treated the boy for bed wetting. In another case he treated a married man of his fear of being in moving elevators by persuading a young girl to repeatedly ask him for a kiss whilst they were inside. The man was no longer afraid of traveling in lifts, in fact he wanted the lift to start moving quicker so that he could get to his destination and get away from her!

Later in life Erickson developed post-polio syndrome due to the over use of partially paralyzed muscles. This condition again left him severely paralysed, but because of his previous experience, he knew how to rehabilitate himself. However because he was much older this time, he was still confined to a wheelchair, and suffered from chronic pain. Instead of lying down, he learnt how to manage his pain with self-hypnosis, and became an expert at treating others who also suffered from chronic pain.

Erickson eventually died at the ripe old age of 79. When considering all the health problems that he was presented with throughout his life, this was a feat in itself, never mind all the amazing therapy that he gave to others. He was also a prolific writer, and has influenced, and still influences many therapists to this day.

Erickson’s life and work have been a source of inspiration for many therapists and patients in many disciplines. He turned around his disadvantages, learnt from them, and used them to help others. When most people would have given up, Erickson kept going and achieved so much. A true inspiration and a real illustration that almost anything is possible with hard work, determination and a vivid imagination.